I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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