Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Someone came in the potted fern
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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