he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
