wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
