ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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