i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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