You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
