Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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