I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
