Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
