You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Randomize
