i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
