Non-Jews are for practice
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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