He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
why is half of my head shaved?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
