I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize