just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize