my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
