My brain says no but my pants say off.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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