They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
