in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
