So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
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I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
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Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
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