so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
