My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
