also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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