the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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