Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Randomize
