when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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