so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
