So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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