You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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