8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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