That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I don't deserve a penis
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
