you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
We got so high we made milksteak
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
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Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
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It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
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