So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
