it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
be right there i have to get my cape
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
