I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
