I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
My ass is underappreciated
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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