I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
