I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Couch. On fire.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
