Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
