Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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