there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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