why didn't you poke me back
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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