Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
