Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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