I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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