therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
