Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
