Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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