guys are only as good as the porn they watch
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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