Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I party with great urgency now.
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