Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
