oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
