and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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