Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She bit a glass in half.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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