I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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