Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
