Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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