well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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