dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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