i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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