i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
