You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
