it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
