I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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